How you respond to pain will make all the difference in your life. 

Another way to say it is this “Outlook determines outcome and attitude determines action.”

So in my pre-relationship with Jesus days; I personally was not one to take pain killers in the form of pills, but I certainly had “pain killers!”

What were my pain killers and hey maybe some of mine are yours and you will be able to relate with me: men, attention, being sick and my twisted way of thinking was they would feel sorry for me and they would become my night in shining armor, playing the victim, money, and material things. All were my so called, “pain-killers.”

I was desperate for attention and I remember saying to myself, “I will do whatever it takes to get someone to notice me and love me. No matter what I tried to do, whether change my physical appearance, my personality, compromise my moral and values(what I had of them.)

Realized no matter how pathetic my pit was… nothing changed. Everything stayed the same, still was treated awful, they didn’t change and the pain only got worse over the years… 

Then I learned after quite some time that the “pain of staying the same is way more painful that the pain of change.” Until we become so sick and tired of being sick and tired we will not make a change. Are you tired of being sick and tired?

There is no special formula of how we can choose to get out of our pity party: But I have found as I continue to listen to so many stories of women who finally had enough, there was a common denominator we all had; It was that pivotal point, that AHA moment when we choose not to be a victim of pain and to live in victory. For me it was when… The day I went to church with the ex-wife

The night I chose to leave and never look back… no matter what! That was March 1, 2007 and you know what I have never looked back!

Jesus made me realize that the freedom from pain was worth more than holding onto all the hurtful things people said or did to me…Worth more than any shame or guilt the enemy put on me, worth more than any horrible thing I could think or speak over my own self. 

The Bible says something really powerful in 2Corinthians 12:8-9, that is vital to lay hold of in your heart and mind:

”Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.” 

I guarantee I pleaded with God more than 3 times to take it out of my body… I know you know what I mean. You’ve been there, ask God over and over to take your situation or circumstance away.

I have come to know that God will answer you with one of two responses:

  1. He will remove it
  2. He will give you the grace and strength to walk through it. Even when Heisn’t even on yourradar! Like me when I was being gang raped.

I know you are probably wondering how in the world did I get through that one! Not easily but I came out of it fully restored. And this is where I want to take you through a few of the things I have done to walk through my pain with grace and strength that God has given me. I have learned I can handle anything with God’s help. 

When you and I rely on the sustaining grace of God during a painful time in our lives, whether right after it happens or years later when your heart is ready to heal. You will demonstrate a spirit that is so sweet and catching to others as well.

Joyce Meyer says, “You can be pitiful or powerful but you can’t be both.”

And that my friend, is why outlook determines outcome.

Let’s keep having the right outlook…even on the difficult days.

It’s worth it. I promise.

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This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Thank you.

  2. Thank you for being so honest.
    I went from being shamed, & emotionally & verbally abused my whole marriage, nothing about “me” mattered & I coped with that ignorantly. After 40 yrs of this God set me free from it but what I now realize is that somewhere in all this I have a victim mentality & im wondering how do you find balance in all this.
    My life went from one extreme to the other.
    I don’t want to have a victim mentality & I want balance in my life. I’m constantly in the Word but I’ve hit a wall with this. Can you help or give some advice?

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