Peace, perfection and criticism

Peace is a powerful force.

But peace is a choice, and one that I’ve discovered must be made every single day. And sometimes, multiple times in a day.

Here’s why: words have extreme power in our lives. We hear them all the time – from others, on TV, through social media – words are everywhere.

But we must be ok with hearing what someone has to say, knowing we have the power to agree with it or not.

Being heavily bothered by criticism is often a sign of perfectionism.

But criticism by others can’t be avoided especially if you are stepping into new things that are different from those around you.

It is healthy to not think of criticism as something to avoid rather, to realize it is a part of life’s learning process. Again, just because somebody criticizes, doesn’t mean we have to agree with it. We just need to discover how to deal with it.

Sometimes we get discouraged because all we think about is what we have done wrong, but there are also emotional baggage, mindsets, mentalities, and things we are thinking about that get in the way.

And we must let those go.

Paula Durlofsky, Ph.D., in her article “How to Let Go of Perfectionism,” gives some amazing tips to help you cope with perfectionism:

• Become aware of your negative self-dialogue. Harsh and critical self-assessments reinforce perfectionism and procrastination.
• Practice self-compassion. When we are compassionate with ourselves, our fear of failure is not exaggerated. Mistakes are understood as being a natural and normal part of learning and life.
• Take the time to examine whether your goals and expectations are attainable. If they are not, give yourself permission to change them.
• Break goals down into smaller steps.
• Examine your irrational fears of failure with a professional. A professional can help with putting your irrational fears into perspective and help you to reach your full potential.

Anyone who knows me would say that I am passionate and committed to being excellent. However, I have had to consistently let go of mistakes, criticisms and simply “coming up short” in areas of my life. I’m not settling for mediocrity, but in letting go of these things, and being willing to regroup and move forward, it’s actually propelled me into greater success.

It’s because peace is a powerful force. Use it to your advantage.